Lachen ist gesund!

[sylvia]

Du Papa, wie schreibt man Sex - mit x
oder mit ks?"

Papa: "Mit x!'

"Du Papa, wie schreibt man Sperma -
mit
b oder mit p?"

Papa: "mit p!"

"Du Papa, wie schreibt man Vorhaut -
mit
t oder mit d?"

Papa: "Ja mein Gott noch mal, was
schreibst Du denn da für einen Aufsatz - mit
7 Jahren in der 2. Klasse!!!???"

"Unser Lehrer hat gesagt, wir sollen
als
Hausaufgabe einen Aufsatz über unseren Hund
schreiben."

Papa: "So, so... na dann lies mal vor,
bin ja mal gespannt...!"

"Unser Hund ist Sex Jahre alt und wenn
wir mit ihm fortfahren,
Sperma ihn hinten rein, damit es ihn beim
Bremsen nicht Vorhaut!"

 

[anjaxxo]

Das ist zwar schon alt, aber so so gut:

YouTube - President George W. Bush, Hu's on First?

 

[anjaxxo]

fuer alle, die sich noch jung fühlen

have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely i can't look that old?

well...you'll love this one.

My name is alice smith and i was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.
i noticed his dds diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, i remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, i quickly discarded any such thought.

This balding, grey-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, i asked him if he had attended morgan park high school .

'yes. Yes, i did. I'm a mustang,' he gleamed with pride.

'when did you graduate?' i asked.

He answered, 'in 1975. Why do you ask?'

'you were in my class!', i exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.


then, that ugly, old,
bald, wrinkled,
fat ass, grey-haired,
decrepit, son-of-a-bitch asked:

'what did you teach?

 

[Muus]

... oje.. der ist ja geil....

 

[sylvia]

 

[Muus]

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.


Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

He floored it to 110 mph...then 120... then 130. Suddenly he thought, 'What am I doing? I'm too old for this,' and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.'

The old gentleman paused, then said, 'Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.'

'Have a good day, sir,' replied the trooper.

 

[yogi123]

Bruell,lacher, grins

 

[Muus]

RETARDED GRANDPARENTS
(Retirement in the eyes of a child)

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.

One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona.

Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass.
They ride around on their golf carts and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.

They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now.

They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.

There is a swimming pool too, but in it, they all jump up and down with hats on, while they talk to each other. I guess they don't know how to swim.

At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out.

They go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks, they eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night------early birds.

Some of the people can't get out past the man in the dollhouse. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center and call it pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.

When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the dollhouse. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren.

 

[yogi123]

In der Schule wurde gefragt ob die Schueler wissen, was ihre Grossvaetre waehrend des zweiten weltkrieges gemacht haetten. Es gab viele Antworten, mein Opa war bomberpilot, mein Opa war auf einem Schiff, einer antwortete: Mein Opa war dritter Koenig von Nazareth. Der Lehrer stutzte und fragte nach: Daas kann ich mir nicht vorstellen, frag doch noch mal zu Hause nach.
Am naechsten Tag kam der schueler wieder: Sie haben Recht, ich hatte mich verhoert, mein Opa war der Tripperkoenig vom Lazarett

 

[Muus]

A woman is helping her husband set up his laptop. It asks 4 a password. He puts 'penis' the wife falls off her chair laughing when it says 'password too short'