Heute schon gelacht?
- Ersteller mheymann76
- Erstellt am
pindakoek
Well-Known Member
Vielleicht kennt das schon jemand, aber ich muss immer wieder darüber schmunzeln:
Heute gestaltet sich Aufklärung ganz anders:
Auf die Frage...........
«Papa, wie bin ich auf die Welt gekommen?»
lautet die Antwort jetzt:
Na gut, mein Kind, irgendwann hätten wir dieses
Gespräch ja sowieso führen müssen, dann hör
doch mal zu: Der Papa hat die Mama in einem
*chatroom* kennen gelernt. Später haben der Papa
und die Mama sich in einem *cybercafé* getroffen
und auf der Toilette hat die Mama ein Paar
*downloads* von Papas* memory stick* gemacht. Als
der Papa dann fertig für das *uploaden* war,
merkten wir plötzlich, dass wir keine *firewall*
installiert hatten. Leider war es schon zu spät,
um noch erfolgreich *cancel* zu klicken...
Tja, und neun Monate später war der Virus
aktiviert
Heute gestaltet sich Aufklärung ganz anders:
Auf die Frage...........
«Papa, wie bin ich auf die Welt gekommen?»
lautet die Antwort jetzt:
Na gut, mein Kind, irgendwann hätten wir dieses
Gespräch ja sowieso führen müssen, dann hör
doch mal zu: Der Papa hat die Mama in einem
*chatroom* kennen gelernt. Später haben der Papa
und die Mama sich in einem *cybercafé* getroffen
und auf der Toilette hat die Mama ein Paar
*downloads* von Papas* memory stick* gemacht. Als
der Papa dann fertig für das *uploaden* war,
merkten wir plötzlich, dass wir keine *firewall*
installiert hatten. Leider war es schon zu spät,
um noch erfolgreich *cancel* zu klicken...
Tja, und neun Monate später war der Virus
aktiviert
The Joke of the Day
Quickie in the Bushes
There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.
The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing..
The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?' He asks her 'Shall we?' She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you s**t on its head !'
----------AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ?
Quickie in the Bushes
There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.
The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing..
The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?' He asks her 'Shall we?' She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you s**t on its head !'
----------AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ?
Zuletzt bearbeitet:
Some oldies are worth repeating!
MEN DO REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee..
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room , 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.
'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.
'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'
'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'
'I remember that too' she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says ...
'I would have been released today.'
MEN DO REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee..
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room , 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.
'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.
'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'
'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'
'I remember that too' she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says ...
'I would have been released today.'
11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, 10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave
because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person,
until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope because, as a woman,
she was used to giving up everything
for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech,
all the men started clapping . . .
SEND THIS MAIL TO AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN SO
That she has something to smile about today!!
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, 10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave
because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person,
until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope because, as a woman,
she was used to giving up everything
for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech,
all the men started clapping . . .
SEND THIS MAIL TO AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN SO
That she has something to smile about today!!
