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Miami Boy
Guest
herrlich!
Das war Visa's Versuch, die Finanzkrise auf einen Schlag zu loesen
hier nochmal der 3 maenner und eine frau witz, hatte ich schon im alten forum gepostet.
3 maenner sterben und kommen in den himmel. gott fragt den ersten: und wie hast du dein privates leben gefuehrt? meint der erste: ich war meiner frau immer treu...hab nie was mit ner anderen gehabt. gott sagt: gut, zur belohnung bekommst du einen ferrari. der gute springt rein und duest ab.
gott fragt den zweiten: und wie hast du dein privates leben gefuehrt? meint er: naja, ich war meiner frau auch treu, bis auf ein zweimal.
gott sagt: naja, lassmer mal durchgehen. hier sind die schluessel zu deinem bmw. er setzt sich rein und duest los.
fragt gott den dritten: und was ist mit dir? da sagt der dritte: ach, ich hatte nur paarmal was mit anderen frauen. hoechstens 10 oder so.
gott ist nicht begeistert und sagt: na gut, du kriegst den kleinen fiat. er springt rein und braust los.
nach ner weile fahrt sieht der fiat fahrer den ferrarifahrer am strassenrand sitzen. er heult bitterlich. daraufhin haelt der fiat fahrer an und fragt: was ist den los? du hast doch so ein tolles auto bekommen.
da meint der ferrarifahrer: ach, ich habe gerade meine frau gesehen.
meint der fiat fahrer: ist doch toll.
darauf der ferrari fahrer: nein, sie war auf nem skateboard unterwegs.
Kelly
Well-Known Member
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also."
They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."
The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also."
They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."
The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."
Muus
New Member
Sex in the Dark
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the
light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figures she would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while
they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned
on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a
battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and
larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. 'You impotent bastard,'
She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!'
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
'I'll explain the toy. . You explain the kids.'
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the
light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figures she would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while
they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned
on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a
battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and
larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. 'You impotent bastard,'
She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!'
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
'I'll explain the toy. . You explain the kids.'
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